*Warning: Article contents may not be suitable for all readers. Discretion is advised.

“I’m so terribly sorry,”grunts Oderus Urungus, arriving late for our interview after what he calls “a minor crisis in the Slave Pit.”

He’s one busy frontman, er… alien, and GWAR is no ordinary band.

“I’ve been doing all kinds of ridiculous things. I wrestled this big redneck dude named Tracy Smothers. Choked him the fuck out,” Oderus says of the IWA pro wrestler he sparred with back in June for some reason unbeknownst to the majority of humankind.

“And for some weird reason, Fox decided that Oderus is a good candidate for an intergalactic correspondent, so I’ve been making appearances on Fox’s Red Eye. Every couple weeks I’ll show up on there and make a bunch of bellicose remarks before they cut me off.”

That’s not to mention all the regular promotional duties and the obligatory celebration of GWAR’s latest musical sacrifice, “Lust In Space” [Metal Blade, 2009].

Oderus and the rest of the beastly shock rocker camp from outer space have also been busy celebrating 25 years of experimental thrash heavy tunes, lyrical obsenities, and bloody good and graphic stage theatrics.

“Well, you know, that’s only 25 years on this planet,” Oderus clarifies. “If you added up the entire history of GWAR, we would be going into the billions. But I have to say, 25 years on this planet, we’re very fucking proud of ourselves and busy doing a lot of self-congratulatory masturbation, even as I speak.”

Gee, you really must be very proud. So, when GWAR first arrived on this planet, did you ever for a moment think that you’d be celebrating that kind of longevity in such a place as this?

I prayed that I wouldn’t be, you know, I hoped we would have escaped Earth long ago.

Really?

As much as we love Earth, our true calling is in the stars, the cosmic destiny that must be filled. We can’t very well do it here, all messed up on goofballs. But this 25^th year found us with the opportunity to actually escape the planet Earth and get back to outer space, but for some ridiculous reason, I’m back here on Earth again. And the only way to find out why is to buy our new album.

And that would be “Lust in Space.”

“Lust in Space” came out August 18. It’s going to go down in history as undoubtedly the biggest GWAR album since… the last GWAR album.

This is your first new material in three Earth years. That must be exciting.

Yes. It’s very, very exciting. Titillating. Scumtilitious.

How did you guys approach writing for the new album?

We write songs in three or four seconds, and I basically just stumbled into the recording studio. I didn’t even know we were making an album, I just screamed a bunch of unintelligible shit into the microphone and the next thing I knew there was an album coming out.

What kinds of things have you been doing to promote the album across this planet?

We played at the Gathering of the Juggalos this year, and Wacken, which is the largest concentration of Germans in one space since the invasion of Poland. Comic Con in San Diego – we played the big brutal legend video game release party, so maybe we can get those fuckers at EA games to back us for a video game. There’s just no end to the completely ridiculous antics that I will stoop to, to get this band where it needs to be.

What are some of your favourite memories on this despicable planet?

I’d have to say the first hit of crack I did. They always say the first hit is the best and it’s true. I was waking up out of my tomb after being asleep for like 46 billion years and Sleazy (P. Martini) shoved a crack hit in my face and damn that shit was good. So yeah… I don’t care about being nominated for Grammys; I don’t care about triumphant tours. I don’t care about our 25^th anniversary. All I care about is my drugs. It’s sad and pathetic, isn’t it?

And almost human…

I like the habits of the human population sometimes, see life through your eyes and realize how futile and horrible it must seem to you all. Yeah, it is terrible. And to give you heads up, there is no afterlife. Nothing – there is a hell, and everybody goes there.

And 25 years on this planet you can’t help but try out a few of our vices.

Ah shit, I invented most of them. Even when we were asleep, we were slowly manipulating your minds to our telegentetic eternal emissions so when you invented crack, that was pretty much my idea.

Interesting, so real or imagined, you must have seen some weird shit over the years from the stage.

I can tell you the funniest thing. We were playing a show and I looked down on the audience and I was like, “Why is that guy slamming in a lazy boy?” And I realized he was in a wheelchair and people were picking him up and passing him over the top of the crowd. Hilarious! He was screaming and fell out of his chair and was booted into submission. He only had a broken leg before the show, but now he’s totally paralysed.

If you had to guess how many shows GWAR has played, could you?

I know it’s at least 30,000 billion. We’ve been doing it pretty much non-stop for 25 years; that number will add the fuck up so I would have to say more than a thousand and less than 2,000. Let’s just say 1,500.

What kind of logistics are involved in getting ready for a GWAR scale tour, because you guys don’t seem to scrimp on the show?

That would involve working, which is something I don’t really know anything about. I have slaves that do all that shit for me. I just show up where I’m supposed to be, hopefully, go through it in a drugged out drunken stooper, and then I go home again.

Anything else we should know about GWAR or the new album?

Just this: it is the 25^th anniversary of GWAR. This launches a two-year long celebration of all things GWAR. It will be your final opportunity to pay homage to your Antarctic overlords as we lay waste to your planet, hopefully for the last time.

And will part of that celebration bring you to Alberta?

Of course! No GWAR tour would be complete without paying our respect to the people of western Canada. They’re the greatest. And we’ll be up there and we’ll be playing all kinds of weird clubs and moose will be in the audience. It’s going to be absolutely delightful.

Excellent, we’re looking forward to it.

Thank you, human scum. I thank you. And I remind you to worship GWAR and none else. Hail GWAR!