There’s no easy way to spend long periods of time out on the road with other people, no matter how awesome they are. Hell, you could be Mary friggin’ Poppins and I’d probably still want to crush your skull and throw your stinky feet out the window after a couple of days. But when you’re in a band, road trips are a reality – or at least an inevitability, depending on which stage of the game you’re at.

And trust me, it is a game. Ever watch “Survivor?” That’s nothing. We’re talking about surviving every minute of crusty socks, back spasms and chronic snoring. At least on TV, they can run ’round barefoot and pick some fruit. Maybe hang their hammock on the other side of the trees. Sure, they’re forced to eat bugs, but that’s sure a hell of a lot more protein than you’re bound to get from the fast food marathons of tour circuit. And no, Alphaghetti is not a better nutritional alternative.

And I don’t even want to think about the gas station bathrooms.

*shudder*

We caught up with some scurvy pirates during PaganFest’s Alberta invasion who had a thing or two to say on the subject. Swashbuckle hadn’t veered away from the coast until sailing down the Bow River with a bunch of pagans. Now they’re planning to cross the Atlantic to pillage Europe. Now that’ll be a boat trip and a half.

Lethbridge metallers Psycomantium load up the “psycovantium” on a regular basis, performing in Calgary, Edmonton – you name it – just to get heard, while A New Face For Marley moved all the way from down under to make their new metal home on the Canadian prairies. Plus, The Order of Chaos are about to take their debut full-length album out on the road and told us all about the recording process that gave ‘em something to hawk along the highway.

We’ve also got the scoop on songstress Lee Aaron’s musical journey, one that took her from Canadian metal queen to jazz goddess and down the road of creative contentedness. She’s making a couple of rest stops in Alberta – one in Lethbridge and one in Calgary – and we’re going to be there to absorb every crescendo.

Until then, we’ve got news: I’ve got a new head. One of Pitch Black’s American neighbour’s (or is it “neighbor?”) took the amateur-ish sketch of my original mug and funked it up. Patrick Wong is an über-talented graphic designer in the San Francisco area, and helped show editor-in-chief Pamela Porosky all the ropes of working with music mags when she was just a wee little reporter interning at Guitar Player Magazine. You can check out some of his work here – just make sure you don’t forget your map so you can get back and check out what else we’ve got for ya here.

And now, enjoy this month’s issue of Pitch Black before it’s dust in the rear view mirror.

Mistress Morwyn

The Keeper of the Lair